Growing Up Drug Free

A Parent’s Guide to Prevention
What to do if You Think Your Child Might be Using Drugs
Sponsored by the United States Department of Education

Signs that Your Child Might be Using Drugs

Since mood swings and unpredictable behavior are frequent occurrences for preteens and teenagers, parents may find it difficult to spot signs of alcohol and drug use.  But if your child starts to exhibit one or more of these signs (which apply equally to sons and daughters), drug abuse may be at the heart of the problem:

  • She’s withdrawn, depressed, tired, and careless about personal grooming.
  • He’s hostile and uncooperative; he frequently breaks curfews.
  • Her relationships with family members have deteriorated.
  • He’s hanging around with a new group of friends.
  • Her grades have slipped, and her school attendance is irregular.
  • He’s lost interest in hobbies, sports, and other favorite activities.
  • Her eating or sleeping patterns have changed; she’s up at night and sleeps during the day.
  • He has a hard time concentrating.
  • Her eyes are red-rimmed and/or her nose is runny in the absence of a cold.
  • Household money has been disappearing.

The presence of pipes, rolling papers, small medicine bottles, eye drops, or butane lighters in your home signal that your child may be using drugs.  Other clues include homemade pipes and bongs (pipes that use water as a filter) made from soda cans or plastic beverage containers.  If any of these indicators show up, parents should start discussing what steps to take so they can present a united front.  They may also want to seek other family members’ impressions.

Acting on Your Suspicions

If you suspect that your child is using drugs, you should voice your suspicions openly, avoiding direct accusations, when he or she is sober or straight and you’re calm.

This may mean waiting until the next day if he comes home drunk from a party, or if her room reeks of marijuana.  Ask about what’s been going on, in school and out, and discuss how to avoid using drugs and alcohol in the future.  If you encounter reluctance to talk, enlist the aid of your child’s school guidance counselor, family physician, or a local drug treatment referral and assessment center; they may get a better response.  Also explore what could be going on in your child’s emotional or social life that might prompt drug use.

Taking the time to discuss the problem openly without turning away is an important first step on the road to recovery.  It shows that your child’s well-being is crucial to you and that you still love him, although you hate what he’s doing to himself.  But you should also show your love by being firm and enforcing whatever discipline your family has agreed upon for violating house rules.  You should go over ways to regain the family’s trust such as calling in, spending evenings at home, and improving grades.

Even in the face of mounting evidence, parents often have a hard time acknowledging that their child has an alcohol, tobacco, or drug problem.  Anger, resentment, guilt, and a sense of failure are all common reactions, but it is important to avoid self-blame.  Drug abuse occurs in families of all economic and social backgrounds, in happy and unhappy homes alike.  Most important is that the faster you act, the sooner your child can start to become